Not So Happy New Year

We have all been sick for at least a week.  I know that if my dad gets sick he could literally die.  So I picked him up antibiotics last Monday and as the week progressed I would as him if he was feeling better and he would always say yes.  Dad fell late Friday night and I asked him if he needed to go to the ER and he said no.  The next after noon he finally decided he needs to go to the ER.   The problem is the ER we have to take him to is 3 hours away in Temple.   As I was getting his stuff packed for the 3 hour trip to Temple to the ER and his Dr.'s I grab all of his pills and get his pill box that I fill each week.  That is when I found out he had NOT been taking ANY of his medications.  No antibiotics, heart medication, nothing. I freaked out and called my sister to let her know it was going to be more serious than we first thought.

We finally get to the ER and find that he is having a moderate heart attack, his blood pressure is supper low, he has pneumonia in the bottom of both lungs, is dehydrated and his kidneys have shut down. I have never seen a Dr. panic like the ER Dr. did.  The huge problem is dad has a DNR  so their hands are tied. They can give him medications to help but they can not put a tube in or use paddle's or preform mouth to mouth.  So the next 36 hours are crucial.    If he did not have a DNR he would be in the ICU.  

It is the strangest thing.  My sister and I are at peace.  This has never happened before.  Normally we are in full panic mode.  But, if you could see the poor guy on a day to day basis it would break your heart.  He is just existing.  He isn't living.  He is miserable.  Don't get me wrong we do not want to lose him but, we can't stand to see him suffer either.  He has been ready to pass since my brother passed away.  We are torn in two.  Who wouldn't be.

Any thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Jackie